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You Will Learn

by Alina Bea

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desertbeaver
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desertbeaver This album will make you feel something even if you are made out of stone. Music for brave and searching hearts! Favorite track: Let Your Brain Die.
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1.
You are not alone here in the dark Can't you see that everyone's here in the dark? We don't need, need the light To see you I came to meet you outside I crawled out here You try to hide, but I see your fear I feel it What do you think? Do you think I know what I'm doing? All I know to do is reach out to you Receive it You are not alone here in the dark Can't you see that everyone's here in the dark? We don't need, need the light To see you Nothing but chaos outside Keeps you so low You want to believe, but you just don't know I'm trying to tell you I've been here before You don't want to be a cliche anymore And you try to act so tough, like that could ever be enough You are not alone here in the dark Can't you see that everyone's here in the dark? We don't need, need the light To see you
2.
Pulled in all directions Mostly down Working hard to get nowhere Everyone I know Swears they’re getting close Trying to climb a ladder thats not there It’s only hard when you care So just don't care It only hurts when you care So just don't care Just don't care Spinning out til all my wheels are coming off Grinding down to where it hurts It’s always been this way Since I heard you say, “You’re only worth how hard you work. You’re only worth how hard you work.” So watch me work and work just like you told me to Just tell me what to do It’s only hard when you care So just don't care It only hurts when you care So just don't care It’s only hard when you care So just don't care It only hurts when you care So just don't care Just don't care Let your brain die in a little place It’s just a little bit, it’s just a little bit Let your brain die in a little place It’s just a little bit, it’s just a little bit
3.
Something in Something in my blood Too small to see Something in Alien, but still Sewn into me It’s me and it’s not Split at the seams, it’s happening Every time your voice comes out of me But I can’t fight that, I have to Own what I am Inherited, this brain, it ticks To it’s own beat Can I hope to be Anything more Than the shape of me? Throw it on the fire Rewire Stunted inside someone else’s house, I’ve Gotta grow out and up out and up oooh Stunted inside someone else’s house, I’ve Gotta grow out and up out and up out and up Split at the seams, it’s happening Every time your voice comes out of me But I can’t fight that, I have to Own what I am I can’t fight that, I have to Own what I am Out and up and out and up and out and up Out and up and out and up and into me
4.
I'm not afraid, just out of control The end of the world snuck up on us No right thing left to do I surrender, turn my lights off I'm already far from here Was it worth it? You deserve this, King of nothing, nothing left You'll never stop. I'm tired, so tired I feel like a deer caught in a wild fire Just so small in the face of this force I surrender, turn my lights off I'm already far from here Was it worth it? You deserve this, King of nothing, nothing left Because you drowned the part of you that lets you feel bad Because you took it all and still you say that you've been had The prize you won, it wasn't what you laid out in the plan Paid for your private garbage island in a sea of trash Sucking every single thing into your black hole Until you can't even remember what you wake up for At least I'll always know exactly what I wake up for I surrender, turn my lights off I'm already far from here Was it worth it? You deserve this, King of nothing, nothing left You can only hurt my body In my mind I'm far from here There's one place left, you can't follow In my mind I'm far away
5.
Outnumbered 04:18
This is not a dream No, it’s really happening You’re old enough to see See your grip is loosening A shift in everything All you’ve known reversing, reversing Can you hear the old fear Coming up through the ground? Coming to knock of your crown Finally outnumbered Now you think there’s something in the air It’s never been fair, but you Never had a reason to care Now you see the shape of all our path Circling back A warning Now you know you're not a special boy The power you had Was never really yours to enjoy It’s only fitting only fitting only fitting You will learn You will learn Can you hear the old fear Coming up through the ground? Coming up to knock you down Finally outnumbered Finally outnumbered Finally outnumbered, you’re Finally outnumbered now It’s okay, it’s your turn It’s okay, it’s your turn Can you hear the old fear Coming up through the ground? Coming to knock of your crown Finally outnumbered, you’re Finally outnumbered, you’re Finally outnumbered now
6.
Knuckle 03:51
Remember the instant when you first saw right through To the terror and carnage your little limbs could do Unrestrained by a mind coiled tight The knuckle of you I know your omissions and every excuse I've lived in the corners you sink yourself into Don't you dare deny I can help unbind The knuckle of you It shouldn't be such torture, just to care If you could just open your hand, we'd already be there I can't say it'll all be fine But are you on my side? 'Cause I'm on your side Are you on my side? 'Cause I'm on your side
7.
I got lost in circles I forgot why I'm out here Left alone for so long, I know all that's not out here Nowhere left to look I'm so scared I'll find nothing on the inside Nothing there behind my eyes Nothing nothing nothing I want to be of use, to share what I find But there's no one left to change their mind What will I do with such an empty horizon? I was built to keep moving Moving, never stop moving Never let it drop Keep it up and hold it up and Never let it drop I'm so scared I'll find nothing on the inside Nothing there behind my eyes Nothing nothing nothing
8.
How do you know you’re alright? How do you feel? Is this fine? Blinking in the light How do you know? How is it normal to Be alive? Do what you have to to hold it together To keep your head up, barely above the water and Scream How do you know when to fight? How do you feel what is right? Can you trust your own heart? Are you scared Or are you just smart? How do you know if you’re listening right? How do you live in both the dark and the light? See the patterns that really exist Not just project your own version of sense Your own version of sense How do you know what you require? Are you ok or are you on fire? What’s on purpose and what’s a mistake? How do you know when it’s time to escape? When it’s time to escape?
9.
Never 04:35
Crunching through tall grass All the way up to the top of the mountain All the way all the way all the way I Pulled the lid off my head, it Came right off Wonder, it flooded in Fine line between awe and fear Prevent the tilt, don’t fall in Keep it open, pay attention Keep it open, pay attention Keep it open, pay attention Never, never forget It will feel like too much to take Concentrate, don’t run don’t break Don’t run don’t break don’t Never never never never Close again Wonder, let the wonder in Don’t fall in Fine line between awe and fear Prevent the tilt, don’t fall in Crunching through tall grass All the way up to the top of the mountain All the way all the way all the way I Pulled the lid off my head, it Came right off Wonder, it flooded in Let the wonder in
10.
(Something) 01:59
11.
I think I understand But what good is that? I wish I could turn it down Could turn it off The more I understand, the less I feel If I could change my mind, I’d wipe it clear The more I understand, the less I dream The less I see, the less I see A hole in the sand used to be all I need I saw a wink in everything My tiny triumphs seemed impossible feats And I was never afraid to reach, afraid to reach The more I understand, the less I feel If I could change my mind, I’d wipe it clear The more I understand the less I dream The less I see, the less I see Nothing ever means what you think it means anyway Nothing ever means what you think it means anyway

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released May 29, 2020

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Alina Bea Los Angeles, California

Hailing from Los Angeles, Alina Bea is an exploratory avant-pop singer, dancer, and multi-instrumentalist. Her sound is characterized by disarmingly intimate and direct vocals, bolstered by a blend of dark synth pop, musique concrete, experimental dance music, and the shrieking acoustical oddness of the classical avant-garde. ... more

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